pregnancy forums are kind of the worst. i've never seen a subsection of internet communities so dedicated to utilizing acronyms for nearly everything that each post is more inscrutable than the last. you are grown women, stop referring to your period as AF and your family members as DH, DS, DD and your sexual activity as BD—you are having a baby, not encrypting highly sensitive military cables.

idk, the zeitgeist of pregnancy & motherhood communities is so fucking weird to me. i don't feel motherly or nurturing or any of those qualities that would endear me to sisterhood and sentiment and emotional diarrhea. i haven't cried or felt the irrational pendulum of mood swings. i'm about as hungry and sleepy as i usually am—which is to say, a lot and always. i feel like the same asshole i've always been, but maybe now approaching the cusp of something big. i hope motherhood changes me as a person for the better, but specifically not into an unrecognizable mommy culture weirdo who spends her time scouring etsy for ugly knit hats for my baby's gigantic head and pinning diy princess birthday party decoration ideas.

my first ultrasound is scheduled for next week, december 15th.