my dude turned 5 months old on january 1st. new year, new mr. james.

things that baby j can now do:

grab at his chubby feet
pet the dogs clumsily
sit unsupported for all of 30 seconds before the weight of his big ass head tumps him over
hold his own bottle for a little while before he gives up and lets it roll away and dribble into the caverns of his neck fat
punch anything within reach- a wine glass, a plate, my breasts, my face
roll around constantly, get his fat little leg stuck between crib rails
splash and kick around to swim in a bathtub with the help of his otteroo floatie
grab my finger and gum on it vigorously like he's eating corn on the cob
grin and giggle when he hears инээд (ineed), the mongolian word for laugh

things that i can now do:

remain stoic while getting punched in the face a lot
say that i've produced roughly 4,000 ounces of breastmilk (i don't really know who i would say this to)
deflect any and all potentially interested dudes at bars immediately by using a baby photo as my lockscreen